the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
