I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Randomize
