one might say we're banned from that church
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
