Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize
