i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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