we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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