your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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