so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
