Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
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