I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
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