Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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