I'm drive I can fine osifer
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
my sisters under your porch take her home
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
