I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
