I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Come see our sink grown plant.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
