I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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