TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
