I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I will die if light touches me.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
be right there i have to get my cape
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize