I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize