So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
