So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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