and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Randomize
