I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
