you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
