You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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