dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...