I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌