the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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