dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!