OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
23 People Have Step Parents That Are Younger Than Them
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.