dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.