I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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