I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize
