Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
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He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
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i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!