Sry I called you an 8
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Put some vodka in it
put some vodka in it
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.