Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat