I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
