i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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