After last night, I could never be a politician.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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