Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
