do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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