I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
