hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
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