I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
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