Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
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