: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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