coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
