Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
