Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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