So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
she smelled like a LAN party
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
