I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Randomize
