Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I think pants incapable of making pants work
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
