Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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