umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I pour the whiskey from now on
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
