she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
