I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
