Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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