I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Randomize
