Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize