time to smoke my breakfast
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
