There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
