How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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