I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
