You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
