I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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