i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
either way he was missing a nipple.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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