Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
