I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
ttyl tear gas
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize